


scars you're keeping

by truthtakestime



Category: The Riches
Genre: Drug Use, Episode Tag, Gen, Inner Struggle, POV Second Person, Trigger Warnings, recovering addict, referenced sexual abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 18:42:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5795668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truthtakestime/pseuds/truthtakestime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You've seen the way that Didi looks at you. You think that if Sam and Cael and Wayne started lookin' at you in that same way you'd just up and die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	scars you're keeping

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do NOT advocate drug use, but I find it very interesting how they handle Dahlia's struggle. Because for all that she is always using _something_ in the first season, she's very consciously trying NOT to use meth and gradually lessens her use of other things as well. She's really trying to get clean for her family. 
> 
> Tag to Episode 4 "Been There, Done That". Potentially triggery because, you know, drugs. And almost-rape.
> 
> (I just discovered this show (thanks Netflix!) and binge-watched most of the first season between working doubles which was probably not wise, but they just do so well! Minnie Driver is beyond words, she breaks my heart in this in the best ways.)
> 
> It's appalling how little fic there is for this show.

You've got meth hidden in your chimney. 

_come on Dahl don't do it don't do it don't shoot up you promised_

You don't touch it. Don't _want_ to touch it. You're done with all that. Prison was different, but you ain't in prison no more and your _family_ is here. Your children. 

_you promised you promised you promised_

You've seen the way that Didi looks at you, and it makes you feel guilty. Disgusted. You know she knows, and even more than that you know that if Sam and Cael and Wayne started lookin' at you like that you'd just up and die because what would be the point of livin' after that? So you hide. The marks, the needles, the bottles of cough syrup and them little tiny pills you get from Nina. 

_don't do it don't do it_

Wayne finds out and he forgives you, but you see the judgment in his eyes and you know he's never gonna trust you again. Not like before. Not unless you get clean. And you can't get clean, can you? Because the syrup, the pot, them little pills all numb the pain and if not that then it would be the meth again, and you will _not_ shoot up. 

_don't shoot up no stop you can't_

Wayne's boss – _Doug's_ boss – catches you searching for pills in the neighbor's house. He never says a word. Just touches you. It's wrong and dirty and you don't like it, but you can't move now. Can't let him know you're scared. 'Sides, being a Traveller you've had worse before. Hell, there was worse in prison than his hot, steady hand. This is nothin'. But at the same time it's the dirtiest you've ever felt in your life. It makes you hate yourself. 

_no stop don't do it you promised don't shoot up oh I want it so bad_

You hold the needle in your hand in the closet all night, and you don't shoot up but you want it _so bad_. Your arm itches for the needle. Your breast burns where Hugh touched you. You hold the promise of relief in your hand and pray and try not to be sick. 

_please God I don't want it don't let me do it I can't I can't I promised_

_fin._


End file.
